Where are the words?

I've always been better at writing it down than saying it but
today, I can't do either
can't find the words to put to paper to screen to mind to ear to dream
because each time I dream the words I find myself looking for a way to forget
them to replace them
with easier words
like 11 degrees and sun
like 1st place like water like rain slush spring
all happy words while parting is a sad one
and the word that I try to forget becomes a sentence a page a book
and my eyes are half open half closed and my brain is lost somewhere
between waking and sleep
hoping and dreading -remembering
and forgetting

I've always been better at writing it down than saying it but
today
I can't write or say or think