From the Mouths of Babes (part 4)

This one comes to you from the UAE, courtesy of Abu Dhabi Angel.
The setting:
Angel is watching a program on TV in which they are eating hot dogs. At the same time, Abu Dhabi Mama is cooking burgers in the kitchen.

Angel (in utter amazement): "Mama, I can smell the food from the tv!"

From the Mouths of Babes (or actually second graders: part 3)

When my mom was still here in January, Cali Angela, who's now 7 years old, would call often to chat with her Grandma, and check up on Little Dude. Cali Angela's pretty used to having her grandparents around for a couple of months every winter, and the fact that she was Grandma-less meant that she spent a great deal of her phone calls to us devising ways in which we could all go down to Sacramento and visit her and her family, instead of the current arrangement wherein we were all in Montreal, so far, which made no sense at all.
During one of these phone calls, M had just come home, and she was explaining to the rest of us that we should come with the phone on speaker when she heard him enter. After saying "salaam" to him and filling him in on her brilliant travel plans, he broke it to her gently.
"The problem is that I have work, so I wouldn't be able to come to California".
"That's not a problem," Cali Angela replied, un-phased. "My dad goes to work every day. You could just go with him."

Oh Angela, if only it were that simple...

From the Mouths of Babes (part 2)

This little gem comes to you courtesy of Dubai Angel, whose name is now Abu Dhabi Angel, thanks to their move to the UAE Capital this year. Abu Dhabi Angel is now 3 (like his little cousin, Cali Angel), and an avid cook who follows his mother into the kitchen every chance he gets, planning to help her in whatever meal she's about to make.
My sister tells me that the other day, they were all out shopping at a mall, and passed a store with a set of pots and pans in the window display:
Abu Dhabi Angel stopped dead in his tracks and called her back over, his voice extra excited:
"Mama!" he said, "when I grow up and get married, I want you to bring me right back to this store, so I can buy this set of pots and pans, so I can cook for my wife!"

Ha! Here's hoping he remembers this when he does get married, because if he does, right now there's a little girl out there who's going to be VERY happy some time in the future.

Pure Joy!

If you know me, you know I'm someone who takes joy in the simple things in life, and that little makes me happier than a good joke or some wordplay... Well, today I was randomly reminded of that genius, Gary Larson, and his incomparable comic strip, The Far Side... I spent some time perusing google images, flipping through some old favourites, and I just had to share my joy with everyone else... (M can attest to the fact that I was really, insanely happy, gleeful even, as I made him look at one comic after another...)
Do yourself a favour and go buy the set (I know I will!) but in the meantime, enjoy this one, on me:

So *that's* why this is happening...

I should probably just rename this blog "the Scott Feschuk fan page". The guy is just so hilarious, and his columns in MacLeans magazine are too ridiculously funny not to share with the rest of the world. The newest MacLeans includes his explanation for our fabulous Prime Minister Harper's reasons for proroguing parliament (American friends, ignore this: your country may be mired in all sorts of other messes, but I'm pretty sure if your president ever tried to just "suspend" your houses of government for a few months, there would be a revolution. Unlike here, where we all politely complain about it and go on our merry ways shoveling our driveways and eating beavertails - what's that you say? No snow to shovel this winter? They're going to have to fake the snow in Whistler for the Olympic skiing and snowboarding events? Oh relax, I'm sure that has nothing to do with the ever changing climate and warming temperatures that our government so obviously didn't care about at the Copenhagen climate change summit a few months back! Now now, you're being too paranoid about this whole thing. Relax, enjoy the mild weather).
Oh yes, this was supposed to be a light post. I will leave you to Scott Feschuk's much more entertaining perspective on our country's messed-upedness.

Snuggie Temptation...

When I sit down to watch tv or a movie, I like a blanket to keep me warm, especially if I'm tired or sleep-deprived. So when the snuggie came out last year, I have to admit that I was very very tempted to get one.
Have you seen the commercials? Insanely corny and ridiculous:



Better yet, have you seen the spoofs:


They should be a total reason not to get the thing, right? But I actually want it even more now... I mean, a blanket with sleeves - how awesome is that? and I love tv or commercials that fall into the "so bad they're good" category. Don't get me wrong, if I buy the thing, I won't be out and about in public with it, or wear it on an airplane like in the commercial (sorry, too embarrassing), but something for the couch or the desk sounds good...
Thus far, I haven't caved, but the moment may come soon. I'll keep you posted.

World Juniors Craziness

In honour of tonight's finals between Canada and the US in the international Under 20 Hockey World Championships, here is a hilarious list of the golden rules of broadcasting for the World Juniors from Chris Selley at the National Post. My favourite:

Though this is easily the second-most compelling annual competition in the sport (after the Stanley Cup playoffs), the most important thing at any given moment in any given game is which NHL team drafted each player on the ice and what he might in future do for that team, or where undrafted players may go in forthcoming drafts. The eight Nashville Predators fans watching must be kept informed!

Despite the silliness, I probably will be following on TSN despite their ridiculous commentary. I love this tournament and it's been far too long since I watched - even if watching tonight actually means putting the laptop on the counter and glancing over while I cook. Enjoy the list. It's a Canadian tradition to get obnoxious when it comes to hockey. and enjoy the game. Go Boys!

Remember the Dove Commercial? A Leafs Spoof

I'm a huge hockey fan, and my team is the Montreal Canadiens, who's archrivals are the Toronto Maple Leafs.
Way back when, I posted the Dove Beauty Commercial below. Well, today I saw the parody version with a Leafs fan, instead of a model, at the centre of the clip.
Check them both out. Enjoy the hilarity.

Dove Commercial:



Leafs Parody:

United Breaks Guitars, but Skype Steals Credit

Have you heard about the whole United Breaks Guitars saga? This poor east coast musician (named Dave Carroll) was flying to memphis, or somewhere else in the states, via United Airlines, and the baggage handlers totally killed his guitar. Someone on the plane witnessed the whole thing from their seats.
He spent odious amounts of time on the phone with United after, trying to get them to pay for the repairs to the guitar, and of course, got nowhere. So he did what any self-respecting east-coaster would do: he told them he would make two revenge songs and post them on YouTube. And he was good to his word.
The Vidoes, of course, went viral. And it was then that United came through with an apology and some cash (which he's donated to a music school), and Taylor guitars, the makers of his broken guitar, gave him a new one.
The Videos are completely hilarious, and because I'm a total dork and I love spreading the joy, I'm posting them here for your enjoyment:





So, all this to say, we're glad that things ended well for Dave Carroll, and though our ordeal is much smaller, we're reminded of him in a current "situation" we have with skype:
A few months ago, M and I put some money on his skype account to call some of our wonderful relatives in Egypt. We spent a pleasant afternoon chatting with family on both sides, and when we were done, felt we'd made a great investment. Fast forward a few months to this week: it's now the beginning of Ramadan, and we want to call our family in Egypt, as well as my sister in Dubai, to wish everyone a blessed month. M tries to get on skype, but it won't accept his password. No sweat, he tries to change the password. And then, the persistent error message. Skype is having issues. Skype has not let him change his password for over a week, and won't accept the password he's putting in.
Ok, let's call them and tell them we're having this problem. What's that, they have no phone number? Ok, but they must have an email form. M fills out the email form, and as he's about to send, hits the next snag: in order to submit an email form, guess what you have to have? That's right! a password (ba-dum-dum!)
Almost at the same time, Skype sends M a message saying that they've noticed he hasn't gone into his account for several months, and that, the credit in it, if not used by X days, will expire. Oh, the cruel, cruel world... I debated the prospect of making a video a la united breaks guitars, but I can't play guitar and I can't be bothered to write (or sing) a song for the world to see, and to be honest, I can't compete with Dave Carroll. More than anything, I'd just like to get skype working again. Anyone have any ideas?

Once Again, he just says it so well

So, a few of days ago I was opining about how I was too hooked on technology, and then last night, I read this hilarious little gem from Scott Feschuk. I couldn't get through the last two paragraphs in one go because I was laughing so hard my eyes couldn't focus. I would LOVE to have this man's sense of humour. Since I don't, I'm point you straight to him for the article.

The Pot and the Kettle

Let it be known that I prefer Iggy to Harper. Let it also be known that I still find Iggy a little too self-important (and I have a story to elaborate on my point, but that'll be a post for another day). In the meantime, I give you this laugh-out-loud article from Scott Feschuk comparing Iggy's hyperbole to Harper's arrogance.

Oh, to be this smug

For my fellow Canadian readers, check out this 22 minutes spoof of our-almost-definitely-next-prime-minister.
For the rest, you may have heard of Michael Ignatieff. An academic, he lived in the U.S. forever and then swooped back into his home country (that would be Canada) when the possibility of becoming the leader of a major party (that would be the Liberals) became available a couple of years ago. Sadly for Iggy, a different professor - the hapless but sincere Stephane Dion - surprised everyone by winning that Liberal leadership race. Then, happily for Iggy, Dion essentially promoted a policy that would tax carbon emissions in the following elections, and despite Canadian citizens' posturing that they wanted to pay attention to the environment, they certainly didn't want to do it at the expense of money, so the Liberals crashed and burned. End result, Iggy was handed the Liberal leadership on a silver platter following the election. Now, with the governing Conservative party waning in popularity, it's only a matter of time before Iggy brings down parliament and starts the next election cycle, which he will almost definitely win (whew! and you Americans thought your system was frustrating and demotivating).
My brother-in-law, K, showed us this hilarious Ignatieff impersonation from This Hour Has 22 Minutes (basically the closest thing Canada has to the Daily Show). It's frighteningly spot on.

Heheh... the world of the nanoblog

I couldn't resist. I had to post this. Too funny:

Everything is Amazing and Nobody is Happy

From Conan, and stolen from my friend's facebook page... Really funny and really true. Watch and appreciate your life:

100 Random Things About Noha

Inspired by COTW's list, which was apparently inspired by someone else's list, here is my own list of 100 random things about me.

1. I love parentheses. They were created for people like me who can't finish a though without launching into a second (and third) tangential thought.
2. Nested parentheses are even better
3. Sometimes I wish I had was a starving artist and the whole world read my writing and thought it was beautiful, instead of a gainfully employed civil servant working in IT
4. Most of the time, my practical side wins out and I am happy to have more than 1/2 a month's rent in my bank account, or be subsisting on beets. It's a romantic notion, but I'm actually not that romantic a person
5. I now love certain foods I was completely indifferent towards in my childhood (exhibit a: the date)
6. Though I fancy myself a creative person, I have very few original ideas. Most of what I say was read/heard/seen elsewhere first
7. I don't think this contradicts being creative
8. Songs are really just poems set to a tune. The ones with beautiful words can make me cry
9. I used to be afraid of daddy long legs.
10. I am still afraid of centipedes
11. I have a tendency to be very silly
12. I hate serious confrontation. It literally makes me sick to my stomach
13. My favourite people in the world are my family (hubby, parents, sisters, and all their kids, hubbies, families, etc.). We're close in ways most people I know find unreal.
14. When I was little, I could get so engrossed in books that two of my sister's could stand over me, insulting my favourite hockey player at the top of their lungs, and I wouldn't even hear them
15. Said player would be Doug Gilmour
16. There are teachers who I will never ever forget for how much they contributed to my childhood and by extension, my personality: Mr. Falls (6th grade), Mr. Knox (9th grade science), Mr. Fitzpatrick (9th to 11th grade lit), Mrs. Alexander (high school chemistry). I truly respect and admire these people, and if I knew where they were, I would walk up to them with a box of chocolate and say thank you.
17. I read Quran really well, but have a bit of difficulty reading regular Arabic, because the writers usually don't include the accents.
18. Strangers in Egypt can usually tell within 15 minutes that I'm not a native
19. My parents are my heroes
20. I constantly read other people's blogs and think - Man! How did she think of that great idea/phrase/concept?
21. I tend towards being very vibrant or very quiet. I have a small "in between" window.
22. I'm working on that
23. I'm addicted to coffee
24. Lately, I'm also liking tea
25. and ice cream
26. I am sometimes inexplicably sad for no reason.
27. When this happens, a conversation with one of my favourite people is usually in order to fix it
28. I took gymnastics as a child and still know how to do some of the stuff - cartwheels anyone?
29. I also did track and field, and usually made the team more on effort than on talent
30. I made the tennis team in 9th grade because not enough people tried out. My doubles partner and I lost every match. Badly
31. I LOVE water sports
32. My favourite place in the world is Calabogie lodge. Been going there with my favourite people in the world since I was 8 or 9. You can probably trace our family story by following our summer vacations through the years...
33. I used to write for at least an hour every day. Not always good, but forced quantity used to produce at least a bit of quality
34. I love The New Yorker
35. I love The Far Side
36. If there's a new alternative health craze out there, you can bet I've at least read about it, if not tried it in some capacity
37. I have a whole slew of food sensitivities, which I regularly ignore.
38. My favourite thing about Montreal is the bike paths that are all over the city. I'm the girl in the hijab you see biking all over the place in the spring/summer/fall downtown.
39. My favourite hockey team is the Montreal Canadiens, even though I was actually a Leaf's fan the last time they won a cup.
40. I get caught up in political stuff. I can't separate it from life or turn it off since I see how much it affects some people's lives. Maher Arar used to pray at the same place as my family in Ottawa before he was sent to Syria for a year of torture. I go to Egypt to visit extended family and I see the corruption everywhere (in non-collected garbage and crumbling buildings and taxi drivers complaining about how to make ends meet). It's impossible to close my eyes to this. Politics is life for the part of the world that isn't as lucky as the other part (aka, us).
41. I get very upset at injustice, whether to me, or those I know and love, or strangers.
42. I have a good memory for useless trivia
43. I have three handwritten unfinished novels in notebooks under my bed. My younger sister, aka my audience, has yet to forgive me for leaving her hanging.
44. I cry a lot. Not because I'm easily sad, but because I'm easily moved.
45. If you have a cough, drink Gollum Juice.
46. Also, Oregano oil is the most disgusting tasting thing on earth, but insanely healthy and good for germ-killing.
47. I am the run-on sentence's biggest supporter.
48. My ability to sleep has nothing to do with the noise/light situation around me. The position of my neck and something to use as a pillow though? Absolutely necessary. On my weekly bus rides, I have devised ingenious pillow variations.
49. I know random small talk in Russian, Swedish, and German.
50. I am trilingual (English, Arabic, French)
51. I LOVE names and their origins.
52. Also, trying to figure out what language someone is speaking when I don't recognize it (is that Polish? Russian? Croatian?)
53. I am currently buying books way faster than I can read them.
54. I have a very low tolerance for heels, or anything that hurt the soles of my feet.
55. I have chronic back and neck pain from a dislocated rib/neck incident in 9th grade. It sounds sinister, but it came about in the most mundane of ways. Also, slightly embarrassing.
56. I've gotten stitches on multiple occasions, but never broken a bone or needed a cast (yet!)
57. If I'm reading a book by an author, my writing (if I'm writing at the time) inevitably takes that author's tone/style.
58. I started writing to be like my older sister, who is also my best friend.
59. Whenever I hear a song/poem I like, I immediately email it to said sister. Given she has two little ones under 4 (my Little Angela and Little Angela) her inbox is probably overflowing with these emails.
60. My favourite blog is by this lovely Canadian woman living in India with her husband and children. Moving. Funny. Exceptionally written.
61. I can't draw to save my life
62. I can, however, cook. I make up my own recipes.
63. I never thought I'd be a good cook and am mildly proud (and surprised) of this accomplishment.
64. I get a lot of joy from reading Scott Feschuk's hilarious columns in MacLean's Magazine.
65. I feel like we're living in a very momentous time in history. I think that over the next few years, the world will change a lot.
66. I hope they're good changes
67. I want to be part of it.
68. I love looking at beautiful pictures.
69. CBC Radio 1 is absolutely awesome.
70. Bel Canto is the most amazing book.
71. I second guess myself a lot
72. I buy recipe books, look through them once, and then rarely go back.
73. My husband continuously befuddles me with his ability to do 4 page mathematical proofs. I happily left these behind in 1st year university.
74. I have been an A+ student my whole life.
75. I never took biology because I was too easily disgusted. The bit of dissection we had to do in general science never ended well for me.
76. and yet I can prepare meat without problems.
77. I am a wannabe health freak.
78. I am also a wannabe environmentalist.
79. My favourite verse in the Quran is the second last verse of the Chapter called The Cave: Say, "If the ocean were ink (wherewith to write out) the words of my Lord, sooner would the ocean be exhausted than would the words of my Lord, even if we added another ocean like it, for its aid."
80. I am a big believer in always remembering that you don't know everything (or even most things)
81. I love chocolate, but also salad.
82. I love Canada fiercely, but I make a distinction between love and pride for my country and criticism of it.
83. I get homesick easily when I travel.
84. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is perfectly up my alley when it comes to humour.
85. Corny jokes are also brilliant.
86. Jon Stewart is a genius. Also Tina Fey as Sarah Palin and any political sketches on SNL
87. This one is stolen with modifications from COTW's list: I would happily take a job at the Ministry of Silly Walks.
88. I love calla lilies and irises.
89. I want to go to New Zealand some day for a very nature oriented vacation (hiking, rafting, etc)
90. I have seen the Pacific Ocean and the Mediterranean sea, but not the Atlantic.
91. My favourite season is summer, but I think winter is extremely pretty.
92. I didn't have a cell phone until a year ago, and now I can't live without it.
93. I can go on a small amount of sleep, but I become either silly-hyper from too much coffee, or somewhat cranky.
94. My toes are the first part of me to get cold. Once this happens, I become extremely cranky.
95. My sisters and I are all daddy's girls. He used to whisk us off to Timmy's for warm, sweet treats every chance he got when we were still in university.
96. I love to sit in small cafes with a hot cup of coffee, either reading a good book, people watching, or trying to write.
97. My favourite place to do so is Planet Coffee in Ottawa. I'm still looking for my *favourite* place in Montreal.
98. I am still very close a couple of my closest friends from high school, though we almost never see each other.
99. Everyday I get to know M better, I am amazed by new similarities I discover between us. Deeper ones that didn't surface before.
100. I miss carrying my Little Angels and Little Angelas around, hugging and kisses them to bits, giving them horsey rides and other invented silly games. I can't wait to see them again in a few months when they all converge at my parents' house.

The ONLY thing I'll miss about Bush...

is his way of mangling words... Ladies and Gents, I leave you with this list from Yahoo! News of ridiculous phrases. Enjoy. The next four (well, hopefully the next eight) years will be both more boring and articulate in the Oval Office:

Bushisms: U.S. leader sets standard for mangled phrases during presidency

President George W. Bush will leave behind a legacy of Bushisms, the label stamped on the U.S. leaders original speaking style. Some of the president's more notable malapropisms and mangled statements:
-"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." - September 2000, explaining his energy policies at an event in Michigan.
-"Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?" - January 2000, during a campaign event in South Carolina.
-"They misunderestimated the compassion of our country. I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the commander-in-chief, too." - Sept. 26, 2001, in Langley, Va. Bush was referring to the terrorists who carried out the Sept. 11 attacks.
-"There's no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail." - Oct. 4, 2001, in Washington. Bush was remarking on a back-to-work plan after the terrorist attacks.
- "It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber." - April 10, 2002, at the White House, as Bush urged Senate passage of a broad ban on cloning.
- "I want to thank the dozens of welfare-to-work stories, the actual examples of people who made the firm and solemn commitment to work hard to embetter themselves." - April 18, 2002, at the White House.
-"There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on - shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again." - Sept. 17, 2002, in Nashville, Tenn.
-"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." - Aug. 5, 2004, at the signing ceremony for a defence spending bill.
-"Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." - Sept. 6, 2004, at a rally in Poplar Bluff, Mo.
- "Our most abundant energy source is coal. We have enough coal to last for 250 years, yet coal also prevents an environmental challenge." - April 20, 2005, in Washington.
- "We look forward to hearing your vision, so we can more better do our job." - Sept. 20, 2005, in Gulfport, Miss.
-"I can't wait to join you in the joy of welcoming neighbours back into neighbourhoods, and small businesses up and running, and cutting those ribbons that somebody is creating new jobs." - Sept. 5, 2005, when Bush met with residents of Poplarville, Miss., in the wake of hurricane Katrina.
-"It was not always a given that the United States and America would have a close relationship. After all, 60 years we were at war 60 years ago we were at war." - June 29, 2006, at the White House, where Bush met with Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi.
-"Make no mistake about it, I understand how tough it is, sir. I talk to families who die." - Dec. 7, 2006, in a joint appearance with British Prime Minister Tony Blair.
- "These are big achievements for this country, and the people of Bulgaria ought to be proud of the achievements that they have achieved." - June 11, 2007, in Sofia, Bulgaria.
- "Mr. Prime Minister, thank you for your introduction. Thank you for being such a fine host for the OPEC summit." - September 2007, in Sydney, Australia, where Bush was attending an APEC summit.
-"Thank you, Your Holiness. Awesome speech." April 16, 2008, at a ceremony welcoming Pope Benedict to the White House.
-"The fact that they purchased the machine meant somebody had to make the machine. And when somebody makes a machine, it means there's jobs at the machine-making place." - May 27, 2008, in Mesa, Ariz.
-"And they have no disregard for human life." - July 15, 2008, at the White House. Bush was referring to enemy fighters in Afghanistan.
- "I remember meeting a mother of a child who was abducted by the North Koreans right here in the Oval Office." - June 26, 2008, during a Rose Garden news briefing.
-"Throughout our history, the words of the Declaration have inspired immigrants from around the world to set sail to our shores. These immigrants have helped transform 13 small colonies into a great and growing nation of more than 300 people." - July 4, 2008 in Virginia.
- "This thaw - took a while to thaw, it's going to take a while to unthaw." Oct. 20, 2008, in Alexandria, La., as he discussed the economy and frozen credit markets.

Life as Turkey

Courtesy of a hilarious card I got from my father. I realize Canadian Thanksgiving passed a while ago, but perhaps our neighbours to the south can enjoy this little poem...

Life As A Turkey
When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop;
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know.

His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of ... Black November;
"Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three."

"And soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin;
And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
In will burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head."

"Then she'll pluck out your feathers so you're bald 'n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink;
And then comes the worst part," he said not bluffing,
She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing!"

Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat;
I decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked.

I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room doing exercise tapes.

I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death.

And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound!
So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap,
I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap.

She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said"Christmas is coming ..."

Complete Sentences are Bad! Bad! Bad!

Too funny!
I'm sure you've noticed that I haven't had much of my own inspiration to write about here lately. Not that things are bad or boring, just that I haven't felt that articulate. Having said that, when I find something someone else wrote amusing, I like to share. Here's a good spoof article about - what else - Barack Obama, and his use of complete sentences...

Teeheehee - Hockey Infused Corny Joke of the Day

Q & A fromHealth Canada

• Q: TheStanley Cup was recently on tour in my town, and I kissed it. Do I have toworry about being infected bylisteria?
• A: You are safe. The Stanley Cup has not been in contact with any Maple Leaf product in over 40years.

Of Old Commercials and Singing Cows

I've always been a fan of commercials. Done right, they are often more entertaining than the program you were actually watching, and there are a few that are just classics. My uncle and I were reminiscing about this commercial last night: the HP "makes beef sing" slogan with the cow singing what I always took to be Elvis... I'm pretty sure the reason we both remember it so well (to the point where, embarrassingly enough, I can essentially sing the whole thing from memory) is because we had taped something once and the commercial was on the tape for years and years... Anyway, like everything else, it's up on Youtube. And because it makes me happy every time I remember it, I thought I'd pass on the ridiculousness...