Saturday, November 29, 2008

Food Fight

One of my brilliant friends, who pays a lot of attention to politics and who - in her own words - will one day win the Nobel Prize for Awesomeness (I agree) posted this clip on Facebook. It's a short film showing "... an abridged history of American-centric war, from World War II to present day, told through the foods of the countries in conflict. Watch as traditional comestibles slug it out for world domination in this chronologically re-enacted smorgasbord of aggression".
I LOVED! Not to say I understood it completely. Oh sure, I got the hiroshima, cold war, and WTC references, but I was mushy on quite a few other details. Then I went to the cheat sheet of foodstuffs to determine who was who and it made even more sense... If you are so politically inclined, enjoy the video below.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Life as Turkey

Courtesy of a hilarious card I got from my father. I realize Canadian Thanksgiving passed a while ago, but perhaps our neighbours to the south can enjoy this little poem...

Life As A Turkey
When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,

My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop;
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know.

His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of ... Black November;
"Come about August, now listen to me,
Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three."

"And soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin;
And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
In will burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head."

"Then she'll pluck out your feathers so you're bald 'n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink;
And then comes the worst part," he said not bluffing,
She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing!"

Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,

I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat;
I decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked.

I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola;
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room doing exercise tapes.

I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death.

And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound!
So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap,
I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap.

She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said"Christmas is coming ..."

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Retirement Ceremony deep breath

It's sports weekend in Montreal. Tonight, the famous and infamous Patrick Roy will have his jersey retired by the Montreal Canadiens. Tomorrow, the Grey Cup, the Canadian much much much poorer cousin to the NFL's super bowl, is being played here between the Montreal Alouettes and the Calgary Stampeders... needless to say, my attention will be on tonight's hockey game.
The habs have been playing awful hockey lately, (scraping by with some wins, but not really deserving them) and they tend to play even worse on ceremony nights, so deep breath here... and in the words of the always hilarious Mike Boone:
The only thing that might mar a magical evening at the Bell Centre is the possibility, given the volatile nature of the honouree, that Patrick Roy Night could become the first jersey number retirement to degenerate into a lectern-clearing brawl. But we're probably safe. No one wearing a tuxedo has thrown a good punch since Frank Sinatra.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Latte-Spying

So remember waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back when, I had a post where I explained how my food sensitivities turned me into a coffee-snob, and how I went from ordering the mocha to the soy-sugar-free-mocha, no whip (oh yeah, and please make sure that's plain soy, not vanilla flavoured)?
Well, this lovely blog post cracked me up because I'm not always like this, but once in a while, I do hover to make sure that my drink is being prepared the way I asked. I know it can get annoying for the barristas, but at the same time, I figure it's only fair: the obvious reason is my long list of food-ingredient no-no's, but there are some less obvious reasons too. I used to get lattes all the time, and I don't anymore, so I really want to make sure they're exactly how I asked for them. It's like dessert now, and at most coffee shops, you're paying at least $4 for that drink, so....... Anyway, take a look at the post. Can you see yourself in this woman? Are you a - gasp - latte spy too?

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Complete Sentences are Bad! Bad! Bad!

Too funny!
I'm sure you've noticed that I haven't had much of my own inspiration to write about here lately. Not that things are bad or boring, just that I haven't felt that articulate. Having said that, when I find something someone else wrote amusing, I like to share. Here's a good spoof article about - what else - Barack Obama, and his use of complete sentences...

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Why the Economic Downturn is Good for You

Check out this great article at MacLeans about the joys of frugality, and how the recession could actually make you healthier, happier, and more environmentally friendly. Seriously, it's not just a way to make ourselves feel better about the whole thing. They make some very relevant points...

Thursday, November 06, 2008

IF by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings -- nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And which is more; you'll be a Man, my son!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Little Angela is 3

That's all... Happy Birthday to my articulate little darling...

President-Elect Obama

Pride. Happiness. Relief. That's what I'm feeling right now.
Everything that can and needs to be said about this election and this moment in history is better said by people more knowledgeable and articulate than myself, but I wanted to share this one beautiful phrase I saw on a message board last night:

Rosa sat so Martin could walk. Martin walked so Obama could run. Obama is running so our children can fly.

Congratulations to everyone for common sense and hope prevailing, and congratulations to all African people and people of African descent for what this personally means to you.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

The Hope is....

The hope - and I'm being corny, using that word, but given that today we may end the day with a chance that the US has turned a corner on ugliness and greed in its worst form, I'm being corny - is that tonight, we will be laughing at how not close this election was, and how worried we've been for the last few hours/days/weeks/months...
The hope is that we'll watch our neighbours choose the way the rest of the world would have chosen, instead of inexplicable electing a 72 year old who says he'll be different than the way he's been 90% of the time, and expect everything to change.
Deep breath. Try to function normally today... We won't know anything until tonight so there's no point stressing about it while we wait.
And enjoy one last (I really really really really hope!) joke about McCain and co... and how they'd do a great job running their country, and by extension - and this is why this matters so much - driving the direction of the world:

7 Reasons McCain Will Win in a Landslide Today
by Seth Grahame-Smith

Back in July, I wrote a piece predicting a huge Obama win. I even offered a recipe for an Election Night drink called the "McCrush" (vodka and Orange Crush over crushed ice, served in a hollow flip-flop with a sprig of pandering). But that was an electoral eternity ago -- before the phenomenal rise of Sarah Palin, the phenomenal collapse of Wall Street, and the phenomenal scalp of Joe the Plumber. Call it my mea culpa, or my heaping serving of crow, but I feel compelled to state the obvious. John McCain will "McCrush" Barack Obama today. Here are seven reasons why:
1. The Power of Palin -- On paper, she sounds like a superhero: Attractive. Stylish. Handy with an assault rifle. Impervious to witchcraft. But when it comes to the power of Palin, that's only the tip of the rapidly-melting iceberg. She's given a voice to America's willfully-ignorant secessionist religious fanatics, and energized women who haven't felt this eager to vote since Studdard vs. Aiken. She's a transformational leader, as evidenced by her unique ability to transform many longtime Republicans into Obama supporters.
2. America's Hunger for Change -- 90% of Americans think our country is on the wrong track. We want a leader who'll roll up his sleeves and start pulling survivors from the smoldering rubble of the Bush presidency. Clearly, that leader is John McCain. Who better to set a new course than a man who's been in the Senate for 26 years? Who better to lead us into the future than a seventy-two-year-old who doesn't use email? Who better to represent "change" than a man who changes campaign themes every few days?
3. The Economic Crisis -- Isn't it time for a president who knows how to spend money responsibly? Whether on nine houses, thirteen cars, or $150,000 in designer clothes? Isn't it time for a leader who understands that building a strong economy starts at the top and works its way down -- just like building a strong skyscraper starts with the top floor and ends with the foundation? A leader who's seen* workers losing their jobs and families struggling to get by on food stamps?
* (from the windows of his wife's private jet)
4. A Unified Republican Party -- To outsiders, it might look like traditional "Ronald Reagan" Conservatives and traditional "Ted Haggard" Christianists are slugging it out to see who gets to steer the SS Irrelevant. It might even look like John McCain and Sarah Palin are slugging it out to see who gets to steer their campaign off a cliff. Well consider yourselves duped, Liberals. It's all part of the GOP's elaborate plan to let you rule for the next few decades while we groom Bristol for 2044.
5. Joe the Plumber -- John McCain recently looked out into a crowd of supporters and proclaimed, "You're all Joe the Plumber." What he meant was, if we all look deep into our hearts, we'll see someone who seeks to cash in on his fleeting fame with record deals, corporate sponsorships, and paid personal appearances while pretending to be the quintessential "little guy." In other words, we'll see the perennial balancing act between old-fashioned American values and old-fashioned American greed. It was a powerful insight into our national identity. Or maybe McCain was just pandering out of embarrassment because Joe didn't show up to his rally. But still...
6. McCain's Experience -- Criticize McCain all you want for running a "disgraceful campaign." For "smearing" Obama as a Marxist Muslim elitist terrorist-lover who wants to enslave the white race and send our children to homosexuality conversion camps. But the reality is, John McCain is merely using his wealth of political experience -- by employing the same race-based fear-mongering that defeated him in the 2000 primaries. Experience counts, people.
7. Country First -- Loving America means loving every single thing about America. It means never, ever criticizing it. It means shouting down even the slightest whispers of dissent with wild-eyed chants of "U-S-A! U-S-A!" It means doing what's right for the country, not what's right for your campaign. People in the Pro-American parts of America understand this. Can you imagine what would've happened if our forefathers had been as unpatriotic as Obama's supporters? As elitist and arrogant? Can you imagine if they'd had the audacity to question -- or even rebel against their own country?
What a nightmare that would've been....
Seth Grahame-Smith begs your
pardon.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

A Daddy's (and Momma's) Girl...

Nothing quite like coming back from 7 weeks in the Middle East to the first snow... and not a light snow either; they're expecting 10-15 centimeters by the time it's all over tomorrow morning.
My parents, however, are not daunted by the prospect, and are happy to be home despite the dubious welcome.
And I am sooooooooooooooooo happy to have them back. Welcome home!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Sunday, October 19, 2008

So what if he was...

Colin Powell has officially endorsed Barack Obama in an appearance on Meet the Press today, giving a thoughtful, detailed explanation for why he'll vote Obama on November 4th. I was impressed with the whole endorsement, but nothing touched me quite so much as the part where he spoke about people attacking Obama for being "Muslim":

"Well, the correct answer is, he is not a Muslim, he's a Christian. He's always been a Christian. But the really right answer is, what if he is? Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country? The answer's no, that's not America. Is there something wrong with some seven-year-old Muslim-American kid believing that he or she could be president? Yet, I have heard senior members of my own party drop the suggestion, 'He's a Muslim and he might be associated terrorists.' This is not the way we should be doing it in America"

To which I say 'Thank you Mr. Powell, and about time someone in the political sphere stood up and called out these comments for more than Obama-smears, but for what they really are: an attack on Muslims.
See a clip of his whole endorsement below...


Sunday, October 12, 2008

Teeheehee - Hockey Infused Corny Joke of the Day

Q & A fromHealth Canada

  • Q: TheStanley Cup was recently on tour in my town, and I kissed it. Do I have toworry about being infected bylisteria?
  • A: You are safe. The Stanley Cup has not been in contact with any Maple Leaf product in over 40years.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

What do you think of Barack "Hussein" Obama?

Oh, they've come out swinging now: for the second time at a GOP rally, one of the introductory speakers referred to Obama as "Barack Hussein Obama". Now, if all they meant was to introduce the man by his full name, this would be fine, but it's so disgustingly obvious what the "Hussein" is supposed to do here... Make us sick and scared of Obama, of his otherness, of his blackness, of his father's Muslim heritage.
Yes, of course, now that I'm reminded that his middle name is Hussein, I'm certain he eats babies for dinner and hunts small kittens for sport...
Please! and the sad thing is, for some people, this works. Now, I'm not a McCain fan. I'm not a conservative fan in general, but I'd NEVER NEVER call out "Kill him" at a rally. It's dangerous. It's despicable and it's prejudice no matter how you spin it.
Thankfully, not everyone seems to be falling for it. Some Obama supporters are adopting Hussein as their middle-names to show support.

Of Old Commercials and Singing Cows

I've always been a fan of commercials. Done right, they are often more entertaining than the program you were actually watching, and there are a few that are just classics. My uncle and I were reminiscing about this commercial last night: the HP "makes beef sing" slogan with the cow singing what I always took to be Elvis... I'm pretty sure the reason we both remember it so well (to the point where, embarrassingly enough, I can essentially sing the whole thing from memory) is because we had taped something once and the commercial was on the tape for years and years... Anyway, like everything else, it's up on Youtube. And because it makes me happy every time I remember it, I thought I'd pass on the ridiculousness...

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Vote Smart

I've been having a lot of conversations about strategic voting, and how to avoid a Conservative majority, with different friends. Some people think it doesn't make a lot of sense, that you could choose your second or third choice party just to avoid the Conservatives, but for me, a Conservative majority is sooooooooooooo frightening, and all the other parties are soooooooooo much more appealing, that it makes more sense to vote strategically than any other way.
How do you do this? Simple: you find out if your riding is close, and how the different candidates are doing in the polls. A lot of ridings that are won by the Conservatives are won by a close margin, and if there was less vote-splitting on the left, can be won by one of the three other parties: Liberal, NDP, or Bloc. Heck, maybe we can even get a Green MP in there!
You can find out whether your riding is a close one here. Good luck and happy voting!

A Great Article on Political Smears

So the early reviews are in and so far (yay!) the pundits seem to agree that Obama won the second... I go forward with fingers cautiously crossed, and hoping that people are smart enough to see past the non-stop smearing the Republicans have been relentlessly pushing on him... It's amazing, the Conservative party here in Canada has treated Liberal Party leader Stephane Dion in much the same way, and they certainly didn't wait for a campaign in order to do it... I heard on CBC radio a few days ago that 10 days (10 days!!) after Dion was selected the new leader of the Liberal party, the Conservatives were launching anti-Dio attack ads. We've seen everything, and - granted - the man is not the most entrancing or charismatic speaker, but to listen to these ads, you would suspect he's a bumbling fool so indecisive he can't decide what colour shirt to put on in the morning... If you watched the debates, or tuned in to any of the radio programs he's guested on since the campaign began, you would know this is far from true.
The sad thing is, parties continue to smear because smears seem to work... They're one of these things that work even though they shouldn't. Even though they're beneath us, and and beneath our decency, and beneath our idea of fairness and common propriety. Why is it okay to tell lies about someone? If you really, truly think you're better, argue why you're better on true merit... Don't lie because you're afraid....
This article asks what would happen if Sarah Palin was running against Sarah Palin, and thinks of the possible smears... It's a good one. Take a look.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Little Angelas Love to Play

So, as promised, here is the story of how my Little Angela spent her first Eid in a faraway land named Dubai:
To start, let me give some background about how we tend to do Eid when we live as a minority, i.e. in Canada or the U.S. The community focus in this case tends to be about making it special for the little kids. Since the rest of the world is going about their day-to-day business and there are no pretty lights in the street or Santa's in the malls, we do everything we can to make little kids feel like it's a special day. Also, since most of the Muslim population in Canada or the U.S. is living far away from their immediate,or at least extended, family, visiting family is replaced with community get-togethers.
When I was little, we had some very good friends who would have a 'Eid Open House' party every year, and just about the whole Ottawa Muslim community would end up at Uncle Sulayman and Aunt Rafi's house at some point during the course of the day,and we'd eat tons of roti and cake and play on the swings in backyard. Now, whereas I had loads of fun, I can imagine the day was always exhausting for Aunt Rafi and Uncle Sulayman. Eventually, this activity shifted to renting the hall where the Eid prayer took place in the morning for the remainder of the remainder of the day so the families could all visit their together without anyone's house getting taken over (plus the community was really becoming enormous), and different community associations would take on the task of running games for the kids and arranging for yummy food and every other thing you'd want to have around at Eid.
What this means is that, when Little Angela was born almost three years ago, her Eid celebration included a pile of presents and new clothes and yummy food, but also that immediately following Eid prayer in the morning, the hall was transformed into a child's version of heaven, with circus games and magic shows and balloons and those crazy blowup castles with slides that kids love so much,and Little Angela would spend all day running around and playing and looking and doing everything her little heart desired until she fell asleep from sheer exhaustion, and this was Eid...
Now, in the middle-East, where just about everyone's in on it and the streets are decorated and everyone gets the three days off work, Eid tends to go more like this: they do the new clothes and lots of candy and presents thing too, but they go to the prayer as a family in a mosque, not a rented hall, and then they go to visit family and close friends and just generally spend the day together... no day-long child's heaven circus included.
Little Angela was devastated. Where was her beloved Eid? Balloon's? Blowup Castles? Magician's? Animals? My understanding is that the poor thing cried and that eventually they took her to a kids playground (in doors of course, the heat is brutal), and my brother in law ended up gathering all the kids around and telling them a story, and then invited Little Angela to join in the storytelling. Which she did. For a few seconds. Before she decided she'd rather sing ABCDEFG to her delighted audience of children...
Good God, I miss that child.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Happy Eidin' to All!

And to all a good night... Heheh, no just kidding.
Yesterday one of my colleagues at work asked me what we said to each other to wish each other a good Eid: Merry Eid? Happy Eid?
I guess everyone says their own thing, right? When I'm saying it in English, I tend to say "Happy Eid". "Merry Eid" just sounds too Christmas-y, and "Blessed Eid", which would be a literal translation of "Eid Mubarak", which is how we say it in Arabic, sounds too old school in English. It makes me feel like pronouncing the second "e" in "blessed" and getting all Shakespeare-like...
So, Happy Eid it is. I hope those celebrating have a fabulous day, filled with their favourite things, whatever they may be (friends, family, sugar, chocolate, laughter....)
Tune in soon for a great story on how my Little Angela handled her first Eid in Dubai... and in other important Little Angel/Angela news, my Little Angel is now able to say "Nonno" (which is the baby-version of my name that Little Angela came up with). For this delightful tidbit of info, I must take my sister' and parent's word: he refuses to say it into the phone to me... Ah well, good enough I s'pose.