Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Open Heart Surgery and the Lift-off Revolution

I love tricking my wonderful readers with catchy titles. This post is actually less about open heart surgery and more about open intestinal tract surgery, or rather "cleaning out the plumbing" as performed on our vacuum cleaner for the hundredth time yesterday night. Our vacuum served us well for several years, but maybe sometime last year, it developed a very bad behavioural disorder: unhappy with its lot in life, it would take all the garbage you fed it (literally), and take, and take, and take, until it was fed up; and then it would spit it all back out at you. Now, we're patient people, so we would give it new bags, take it apart, clean it up, pull out all the garbage it was so deviously storing in its hose, and put it back together like new, and then pray it would work again.
And then the cycle would begin anew, with our hopes rising as it pretended to work, and then falling when it collapsed and spewed the garbage back out at us. Recently, the cycle time was also shrinking. It used to be we would have to perform vacuum surgery once of every 5 or 6 uses, but lately it had come down to EVERY use. Our patience was thinning, but it officially ran out yesterday, with one last open heart vacuum surgery (the second this week), and we decided, "no more, tomorrow is boxing day, tomorrow is the beginning of a new vacuum era in this household!"

And so, this morning, my mother and I made the vacuum buying rounds (I NEVER shop on boxing day; I have a shopping phobia- although I've recently improved - and Boxing Day - aka the day of crowded lines, unavailable sales associates, and busy aisles - has always been a day I've avoided, until this morning). We did a quick on-line search last night, narrowed our choices down to 4 or 5 (the world of vacuum sales is full of many confusing products) and went to the nearest Sears, where we asked the salesman many questions. We came away with a fairly expensive, but thoroughly fascinating vacuum cleaner: Introducing the Bissel Lift-off Revolution.

I know, I know, it sounds more like a space ship, but trust me, I used it when we got back from our little shopping spree this morning, and I've never felt such thorough cleaning satisfaction in my life! I used to laugh at my sister when she got excited about her little hand-held vacuum cleaner, but now, I understand; now, I've been converted. This thing has it all: multiple settings, a little light that goes off when the filter isn't clean, and the ability to lift the motor section out of the body of the upright vacuum to reach those out of the way places. You can use it on bare floor or carpets; it has a long cord; it's pure cleaning magic! (I swear, Bissel is not paying me to advertise, I'm just happy)....

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